Aug 11, 2010

Worst Date #12 - You Want To Do What?

What started out as a normal date -- dinner followed by a long walk -- devolved into something very, very odd. He asked if I wanted to swing by his apartment for some ice cream. Wonderful. Innocent enough. I love ice cream.

His place was very clean and Zen-y, so I wasn't fazed when he asked if I would remove my shoes. We sat on cushions on the floor, sharing a spoon and some Rocky Road.


Things were headed for first base when, out of the blue, he announced,

"I would really love to wash your feet."

"My feet?" I asked.

"They're a window into the soul, don't you think?" he replied.

He then confessed that he also wanted to wash my hair, too. I started getting self-conscious. This wasn't a date -- it was a shower.

I politely declined, but this guy had one more for me. As I started planning my escape, he added that I shouldn't be weirded out -- he's just a giver, so much so that he sometimes liked to give guys BJs.

Since we were unloading all of our inappropriate first-date conversations on each other, I told him that his ice cream made me farty and then booked it.




Disclaimer: While this is true, it did not happen to *me*! lol

19 comments:

GoldenAngelsWorks said...

OMG that is bad!

Pam Schaffner said...

Spew alert !! As a veteran of the post-divorce dating scene, this just about cracked me up! Too FUNNY !!

Mel said...

lol!

natalyK said...

What?! LOL!

chrisstitches said...

Made me laugh....figuring out how to leave messages too....love your sense of humor....
Chris B.

Rachel S said...

Arggghhh!

Terry said...

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!

MaryT said...

That is about the worst I have ever heard glad you were able to escape!LOL

Louisiana Momma said...

not a lot of things make me LOL for real, but this did.. I could just imagine the whole farty then booking it thing made me lol .. and i am still giggling about it LOL

Louisiana Momma said...

oh and I wonder if this person dated that same guy that gave me lingerie on the first date :-)

Julie M said...

This made me laugh out loud Meari! Good Lord where do these people come from?

Desi said...

Brilliant response!

Sue said...

Meari, I am speechless!!!! LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.......I would have been more than weirded out; I would have been scared to death! It takes all kind of people to 'make this world go round' I suppose!!! You are tooooooo funny girl!!!! Loved your comments.

Lucy said...

Now that was funny!

Kristin said...

OMG Meari, where do you find these stories? Diet coke spewingly funny!

Carolyn NC said...

Officially weird and totally hilarious!

Jo said...

And I thought I had some bad dates when I was single!!

EvalinaMaria said...

Thank you for the disclaimer, I almost thought it was true...

Oh, Meari, you have no idea how much I'm missing your funny (and sometimes tragic) stories.

Anonymous said...

What the ??????? What a weirdo!!!
Her response was great!
Pam K. :o)