Marvelous Monday Update 3/8/2010

WEATHER
Temps are getting warmer, days are getting longer, and the sun shines more. Spring is coming!! It rained most of the day yesterday, and today I woke up to lots of fog. By the end of the day it's supposed to be 48F. Woo Hoo!


SCHOOL
My last week was quite stressful with 3 papers and 2 tests to be completed. If I'm lucky, I'll get A's and at worst B's in both classes. I can breathe a sigh of relief that it's over, and I'll be enjoying the next two weeks of free time before the next semester starts up.


NON-DATING
I have a little "rant". Why is it when you're happily dating, the ex's come out of the woodwork? I mean seriously... two ex BF's and even my exDH has made an appearance, much to my chagrin.

#1 You don't get the benefit of affection when you're not in a relationship!

#2 Just because you're having a text-fest with your buddy about feminine hygiene (of all things), doesn't mean you send hygiene tips to all the women in your contact list, and think you're being funny.

#3 We have no familial ties, so there is no reason you should be fraternizing with my family 9yrs post divorce. (There's a whole other rant in my head about family member participation, but I won't go there)

I'm half-expecting that my 4yr "phone stalker" ex will be contacting me soon seeing as I haven't heard from him in about 4 months. Thank goodness he doesn't know where I live.


SHOPPING
Ever since I moved into the homestead, I've been on the lookout for a china hutch to use as a display cabinet and storage for my many photo albums. I didn't want to spent a lot and a problem I was running into was most hutches have a shelf in the storage area, which meant I couldn't use the area for my photo albums. There was also a size issue -- bigger is not always better, lol! I also wanted something that had a little "character".

While out doing office errands on Friday, I walked by a consignment shop. I glanced in the window and saw this:

It was only $99. Made by Keller Furniture Company, it's solid wood with a medium stain (maple, maybe?). There are a few flaws and the storage doors below need new pulls. I was even able to get it delivered for $15. The delivery guys were soooo careful and considerate about walking through my house with wet shoes. I was impressed.

The Life of a Single Girl

Dating Humor


Some men wonder why women are so skeptical... LOL



Dating
Dating Hell... That's how Christine describes dating for the single girl. LOL! I have to say the older I get, the more humor I find in the lack of desirable characteristics I see in men. The best part about it is... They really have no CLUE what the problem is! I *still* hold out hope that there's just ONE (I only want one, I'm not greedy) good one out there... and he only has to be "good" in my eyes. Of course there are the givens: a job, a place to live, a car, and good hygiene (LOL). He doesn’t have to be GQ – In fact, I prefer the average looking guy. He doesn’t have to be Einstein – Just needs to be able to hold a conversation. He doesn’t even need to be Romeo – Putting in an effort counts a lot with me. There is one thing he needs to be proficient in, and that's using the phone. Call when you say you will! How hard can that be? Am I asking for too much???

With that said, I know how ya'll LOVE (OK, maybe not "love" but get a great kick out of) hearing about ex's so here goes:

XBF4 - He texted me a couple weeks ago that his ex-neighbor’s wife died. She was 80+ years old. I met the neighbor and he’s a nice old guy. In a moment of weakness, I texted back to give the neighbor my condolences. Big mistake. Big. Huge. (Pretty Woman, LOL) XBF4 started texting me the feel-sorry-for-me messages (I’d heard it hundreds of times in R/L while dating him.)… How he should be the one who should be dead. Why are all his friends dying? Yadda Yadda Believe me, I’m not without sympathy that the elderly woman died. However, I no longer have compassion for his ploys for attention. So... what did I do? (Bad me!) I texted him back to not text me anymore and to seek therapy. After a few choice words from him, silence. Somehow though, I don’t think it’ll stay that way.

S – Texted me last Tuesday: “I’m going to be in town on Wed.” (Yeah, so? My friend said the same thing when I told her. LOL) I didn’t respond back. I was too busy doing my homework. After a a year+ of not being a couple, he only wants one thing... and he ain’t getting in the barn.

C – Texted me today: “Good morning!” Do ya know how you can tell if someone has typed a message, or if they’ve gone to their sent messages and just hit “resend”? The text says: "(Duplicate)". Well C just went to his old sent messages and resent it to me. Nice.... (not). For fear of having my BFF come slap the crap out of me if I responded (LOL, just kidding on that. Maybe not, you’d have to ask her for sure!)... I didn’t text him back.

A friend of mine has been getting tremendous pleasure out of seeing the “matches” that a personals site is sending me, compared to what they’re sending her. Mine – Unattractive, VERY overweight men who think they only have a “few extra pounds” *and* let's not forget the ones who say they're 45 and I'm not exaggerating when their photos look more like 65! (Maybe in their mind they're 45, reality NOT) Hers – Short, thin, guys who are either the rockstar or bad boy wannabes with sunglasses, tats and do-rags on their heads. Incognito? It’s times like this that I’m glad I have my profile turned off so that these guys can’t see me. My friend? She laughs her rear end off at me every chance she gets and I’m not so sure I’m finding humor in it. LOL, who am I kidding. Yes, I do!

Stalked Via Cell Phone

One would think that after at least 4 years of never answering calls and not texting back, an ex-BF would get the hint. Does he? NO! After four years of trying to get me to talk to him... never coming to fruitation... does it sound of "desperation"? (Pathetic? Psycho? Stalker? Take your pick.) What's really disturbing is that he gets frustrated when I don't answer and his "tone" gets agressive as he goes on and on about how he's not a bad guy and why won't I talk to him? The latest....

3:25PM --- I'm at work. Cell phone rings. I see it's him and press "Ignore".

3:27PM --- Phone buzzes to let me know there's a voice message. I ignore it because I know it's his.

3:28PM --- Phone rings again. It's him. "Ignore" again.

3:29PM --- Text from ex-BF #2 (from a year ago) asking whether my snowblower paid for itself. (LOL, what?)

3:30PM --- Phone buzzes. I have a 2nd voicemail message.

OK, curiosity kills the cat, so I listen to the VM messages.

Message #1 --- On and on about why I won't talk to him, he's not a bad guy. Oh, and he did call for a reason. He wanted to know what {insert some unintelligible word} means.

Me: Delete

Message #2 --- "Really" says he. "What is infidel? I want to know. And I don't know why you won't talk to me!"

He seems to forget that I WORK for a living during the daytime hours. He forgot that a LOT when we dated, too. Now "infidel" sounded nothing like the word he was trying to say in Message #1. Apparently, he was watching TV and they used the word. So who better to call than his very smart ex-GF of four years ago! Geesh.

Me: Delete

If it weren't such a PITA for me to change my number, I would. It's unfortunate cell phones don't have the number blocking function. My service doesn't, anyway.

A day in the life..... *sigh*

Seriously... Do I Seem...

DESPERATE?!! What is it about some men that they just can't take "no" for an answer?


Ex-BF #1
This is all via text message...

S: I will be in town on the 29th. Would u join me 4 chinese?

Me: (looking at the phone in disbelief)

Me: Y do u want 2 go out 2 dinner w me?

S: Cuz I'm hungry & i like your company.

Me: (all sorts of mean responses running through my head)

Me: U didn't like my company 9mo ago. Like u said... I deserve better

S: (totally ignoring the "I deserve better" comment) I was very angry

S: If u r uncomfortable i understand & i can go alone...

Me: Not uncomfortable or angry. in disbelief that u would think i'd consider it. i'm not that desperate

S: Never said u were desperate

Me: (outside watering my plants and not responding)

S: So its a pride thing. gotcha. i have pride also yet im still asking u out. think about it.

Me: Not a pride thing... Just not willing 2 deal w next time u get "very angry"

S: Look. I'm gonna eat a mess of shrimp on the 29th. i just thought youd like 2 join me for the binge.

Me: Thx 4 askin & u enjoy your shrimp (I meant that to be sarcastic, guess it didn't work)

S: Just food. Food. Food! Me want shrimpies. I will ask again. Later.


LOL, am I the only one who thinks that whole conversation was unbelievable?! Why is it that I have to resort to being down right rude and insulting in order for men to get the hint? Does he think 9 months erased my memory? Did 9 months erase his?


Ex-BF #2
Actually B should be #1 because he came first, but I'm discussing him second so #2 he'll be. B & I dated over 4 years ago, only for about a year. Come to find out he lied about some very key issues in his life, which caused the collapse of a 3 year friendship (prior to dating) and the one year BF/GF relationship. Because it got so bad toward the end, for my own sanity I had to cut all communication with him. Yet, to this day... He STILL calls and leaves voicemail messages every couple of months. Why after 4 years of NOT talking to him, would he think I'd pick up the phone and talk? I can still tell how agitated he is when he calls and says "I was hoping you'd pick up the phone. I just want to talk." Other times, his voice sounds like the person I fell for. But after 4 years, wouldn't you think he'd get the hint??


And Then...
There's J, who last winter sprinkled my driveway with salt, has taken me out to dinner and has been polite, found me the snowblower, fixed said snowblower, changed the plugs in my car and fixed my lawnmower numerous times. He also drives by my house on his way to/from work (which doesn't need to happen), told my mother at my brother's wedding that we were "dating" (which gives the connotation we're BF/GF). I have to watch what I say because it seems he tells my brother things I'd rather him not know.

Last night, in the middle of conversation he says: "So are you still on the not wanting to get involved kick?" Totally caught me off guard and I said "Yes and No" (lol). After I said that, he changed the subject right away. I have my reasons as to why I don't want to get involved with anyone right now. I would love to be in a good relationship, but tired of doing all the "work" only to feel disrespected and taken advantage of. If that makes sense.

Today via text message... What's with these guys and all the text messaging about serious stuff?... J texts me about not answering that question. So I told him the above. I again was caught off guard when he texted me about how I'd have to trust someone sooner or later. (Like I don't know that?)

The way I see it is this: At least I'm aware of my feelings and I'm being upfront about dating and getting seriously involved. I'm not hiding the fact that I don't want a serious relationship. It's not that I don't like him... So far, he seems like a very nice guy, follows through when he says he'll do something (reliability is good!), polite and thoughtful. Going out once in a while is one thing, getting serious is a whole other ballgame.

'Nuf said! I'll get off my soapbox now before I fall off and hurt myself. LOL