Jul 22, 2010

Happy Endings


On the first day,
she sadly packed her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.


On the second day,
she had the movers come and collect her things.





On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; she put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar,and a bottle of spring-water.




When she'd finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow centre of the curtain rods.





She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.







On the fourth day, the husband came back with his new girlfriend, and at first all was bliss.





Then, slowly, the house began to smell.


They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place.


Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.


Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked!

People stopped coming over to visit.

Repairmen refused to work in the house.

The maid quit.

Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house.

Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.


Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.


Then the ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for having the house.


Knowing she could have no idea how bad the smell really was, he agreed on a price that was only 1/10 th of what the house had been worth ... but only if she would sign the papers that very day.


She agreed, and within two hours his lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.



A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home......









... and to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!








I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?

25 comments:

Pam said...

This post has ABSOLUTELY MADE MY DAY !!!

Diane said...

I LOLed!

~*Shar*~ said...

LOL this will stay in the back of several of our minds... LOL and may come in handy someday.

Kathy said...

LOL LOL LOL

Irene said...

Perfect revenge ! LOL

Danielle said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE this post.

GoldenAngelsWorks said...

I have always loved this one!

Sharon said...

Awww man...where was this story when Mr. "NOT SO RIGHT" and I were divorcing years and years ago???? Oh well, I finally did find Mr. Right and he's pricelss!! Still a great read!!! :) :)

Julie M said...

Very funny Meari! Thanks for sharing!

Blu said...

Perfect revenge!

Donna said...

There is no greater wrath than a women scorned. This was too funny for words!

Carolyn NC said...

Love it, love it!!!

Lou's addictions said...

I needed a good laugh this morning, thank you

Erica said...

LOVE IT!!!

Roz said...

This is truly one of my favorites..... makes me wish I had done that before I left:-)

Anonymous said...

I just love this one!!! Thanks for sharing!!
Pam :o)

Shelleen said...

OMG that is sooo funny!!!

mom2manyblessings said...

Too funny!

Carol R said...

So funny!

And This Little Pig said...

Oh I would agree, but I got the house :D Even though I did try to give it to him in the end :( But even though I was struggle street for a few years, I will now have the last laugh, trust me I near had a heart attack when the real estate agent told me what it was worth 10 years later

Sandy said...

This was awesome! Thanks for the laugh - needed it today.

Terri said...

This is absolutely wonderful. Loved it :)

Billie said...

Coooool!!!

Shelley said...

ROFLMAO!!! That is a fabulously funny one. Thank you for sharing the great laught.

Mare said...

Adored this! I am busy trying to catchup on posts. How awful about your flood! Congrats on the A, the new job, the knowledgeable plumbing friend, your finishes and your stash finds!