Jun 24, 2009

Banister of Life

As you slide down the banister of life, just remember:



1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called ......... 'Ministers Do More Than Lay People'

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss: The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.


4. My mind works like lightning, One brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.


6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.


8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.


10. A blonde said, 'I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid.'

11. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment...for enjoying sex.

As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

16 comments:

Karen said...

Gotta love Maxine!!!

Julie M said...

Too funny Meari!!! I needed the chuckle today. Thanks!

Lucy said...

THOSE ARE AWESOME!!! THANKS FOR THE MORNING LAUGH!

Maggie said...

So funny :-) I think whoever wrote number 8 knew my husband ;-)

Old Yankee Stitcher said...

Love the bit on shipping and handling. Thanks Meari, CJ ok;-)

htimcj said...

Love it!
Heidi-ILCS

Barbara said...

Thanks for the laugh. Maxine is just too funny for words.
Barb in TX

Threads and thoughts said...

What a nice treat, I had a good laugh!
Edith

Kristin said...

Bwahahaha...especially loved the last one (number 11).

Lillie said...

Thanks for sharing.....

Anonymous said...

I love Maxine. Crabbyroad is the bestest. I wish he would come out with more. Thanks good humor always makes my day. Carla

Carol's Stitching said...

Lots of truth is expressed by Maxine. What a gal! :)

5footrunt said...

That was a great laugh Meari. Thank you for the snmile.

Nancy in IL said...

Meari, Maxine is an inspiration to me. She pulls me up when I'm down. She helps me with my signature lines.

Something else that helped me on your blog is seeing your lovely container gardening. Mine is still a WIP but coming along. We have so many bushes and trees, it's going to be time to do it over once it's all done, LOL! But it's very good for my attitude. I still have flowers I have plans for, and yours are inspiring to me.

God bless you for your visit and encouraging words to me. It's very much appreciated to be thought of in such a way.

Maren said...

ROFL!!! I love it!

Akila said...

Lol, great ones :) The plants look too pretty. How I wish I could just feel them and smell them!!!