You Might Be A Redneck If....

...you have to tow your motorcycle home with a pickup truck.

Earlier this evening, I arrived at my brother's house to find my niece who tells me he went for a motorcycle ride with my other niece. I ask: "Was that before or after I called to say I was on my way over?" She says: "After" LOL, OK! So I call to say I'm coming for a visit and then he promptly leaves. What a way to make your sister feel special!

After about 10 minutes of visiting with my niece, the phone rings. I hear my niece laughing and asking, "Where are you at?" She hangs up and still laughing, she tells me: "You have to go get Dad. The motorcycle died." Serves him right, don’t ya think? LOL After getting into my car, I notice a missed call on my cell phone. My brother called me first!

I meet up with my brother sweating profusely from having to walk in the hot summer sun... bare-chested, shorts, and tennis shoes... and my little niece (Who just turned 9 today) in a tshirt, skirt, and sandals. Out of the kindness of my heart, I offered them a ride. LOL

After getting back to his house, he asked me if I wanted to help him pull the motorcycle back. I start to put my sandals on and he looks at my feet, then looks at me with a goofy look on his face. “You’re not wearing those, are you?” I answered, “What do you think I’m gonna wear? This is all I have.” Straight-faced he replies: “You should wear tennis shoes if you’re gonna pull the motorcycle back while I’m riding on it. Those there aren’t going to cut it.” Then he busts up laughing. Yeah, OK. Picture me wearing a rope harness pulling a motorcycle home.

We hop into his truck to go get the motorcycle. Now, here comes the redneck part… He attaches one end of the rope to the back of the truck and the other end to the motorcycle (There are clips on each end). He gets on the motorcycle and I drive the truck. So there we are, toodling 20-25mph down the rural country road... a BIG 4x4 diesel pickup truck pulling a motorcycle and him riding it. One of the times I looked in the rearview mirror, I saw him smiling and waving at one of the neighbors. At one point he got the motorcycle running. He tried to get along side the truck so he could unhook the clip only he wasn’t fast enough and ended up pinching his finger between the rope and cycle causing a big cut. He had to pull back behind the truck and at the same time I must’ve swerved a bit and as I was looking in the rearview mirror, I saw him trying to keep control of the bike. He didn’t crash it... thank goodness... That would not have been a pretty sight. He tried a second time to get around the truck and unhook the rope – succeeding. He pulled in front of me and for a while things were going good. Then the motorcycle died again. So I pull his monster of a truck in front and we hook up again. This time he just rode it the rest of the way home.

As we go in the house, he showed me his finger. He washed it up and as he was looking for a bandage, his youngest daughter asked what happened. What do you think he said? “Your aunt tried to kill me.” Yes, LOL, that is what he said. He was kidding of course, and then he went on to tell the true story. Of course, none of that would’ve happened if he would’ve just stayed home when I called and told him I was coming over. LOL