Nov 19, 2008

Worst First Date #9 - No Gifts... Please!

I was having a lot of first dates weeding thru the duds in my local area in New Orleans. I had a usual format: If their profile didn't have a good photo, I’d ask for one. If they didn't have one, I moved on to the next candidate... it always seemed fishy to me when a person had enough computer savvy to have a profile on an internet dating site, but couldn't provide a clear picture of yourself. If you have done online dating you know, most people have at least one good picture of themselves. I am not a superficial person, and I look for things other than looks, but if we are HONEST with ourselves we know that physical attraction is important... hence the reason why clear pictures are important before we go to the "meet in person" phase.

I was contacted by a particular gentleman... all the pictures he sent me were blurry. It seemed he tried to enlarge photos that were too small and so when enlarged you could barely make any of the detail out. The face part of the picture was totally wiped out but he seemed so nice, we got along well via our conversation, and I wasn't doing anything that day - so I abandoned my "picture procedure" and agreed to meet him at a local restaurant. I figured - what the heck - I might be pleasantly surprised.

Let me just say... NOT! He was not pleasing to the eye in the least. I won't get into the many problems I had with his appearance, but suffice it to say, he was not even close to my type. I tried to make the best of things, and not hurt his feelings by running away from the restaurant.

I tried to make conversation and be friendly - unfortunately I had to carry the conversation thru the entire dinner.. I don't know WHO I was talking to before, but this person in front of me had no conversational skills.. I decided that even if I could get past the physical issues, there was nothing attractive for me underneath.

As we were going our separate ways, he gives me a gift bag and thanks me for the evening.. I found that odd. I had never gotten a gift like that on a first date. As I walked away, I started wondering if perhaps he was nervous and that’s why he didn't talk during the date. I went to my apartment and as soon as I got inside, curiosity was killing me, so I opened the gift bag. You could've picked my jaw off the floor.. it was LINGERIE!! On a first date he had given me LINGERIE!!!

I was thankful I had the forethought to wait until I was in my apartment before I opened the bag. I have no idea what I would've said, and would've had to fight the urge to slap him upside the head. What's even creepier: It had mail order packaging that let me know he had purchased it WAY before he met me online. even creepier still: it was MY SIZE (the size was printed on the label of the package)! I imagined either he purchased it for someone else that was my size and it was a coincidence (eww!)… or he had a huge filing system where when he went on dates he guessed the size and then went to the proper cabinet for that size (double eww)! I had visions of him being a wierdo pervert - or worse some kind of serial killer. I mean who gives lingerie on a first date?!?

To end this story, he has the nerve to write me a scathing email after he got home about how superficial I was - despite how polite and friendly I had been to him. I had done my very best to not hurt his feelings and let on that he was not my type. I am picky, but I am not rude and careless about other's feelings. However, after the gift bag shock, I fired back and email letting him know that I was not the rude one - I was the one chatting and trying to get to know him and he was the one sitting there like a bump on a log. I also gave him a good dating tip - do NOT give lingerie on a first date - it is TACKY and wierd.

~Courtney in Louisiana

This one was sent to me by one of my blog readers. Now, I've gotten flowers on first dates, but never lingerie... The gall of men never cease to amaze me.


Carolyn NC said...

Interesting - if she were so superficial, why waste money on giving her lingerie? Hmmm.....

Rachel S said...

That made me a little nauseous.

Barbara said...

This guy is way too creepy!!! And people wonder why I don't want to date. LOL
Barb in TX

Lelia said...

OH my! I just don't know if I could ever cope with dating now -- I've been married 25 years & I thought it was difficult way back in the day.


huskergirl said...

WOW!! I'm glad I'm off the market! I cannot even imagine what the lingerie guy was thinking! You are right about what men think is OK - it does amaze a girl! I don't want to ever go back into the dating scene - its been 28+ yrs for me. It was hard enough the first time!

Dennise in TX
a.k.a. nickandjakesmom