Feb 4, 2009

The Life of a Single Girl

Dating Humor


Some men wonder why women are so skeptical... LOL



Dating
Dating Hell... That's how Christine describes dating for the single girl. LOL! I have to say the older I get, the more humor I find in the lack of desirable characteristics I see in men. The best part about it is... They really have no CLUE what the problem is! I *still* hold out hope that there's just ONE (I only want one, I'm not greedy) good one out there... and he only has to be "good" in my eyes. Of course there are the givens: a job, a place to live, a car, and good hygiene (LOL). He doesn’t have to be GQ – In fact, I prefer the average looking guy. He doesn’t have to be Einstein – Just needs to be able to hold a conversation. He doesn’t even need to be Romeo – Putting in an effort counts a lot with me. There is one thing he needs to be proficient in, and that's using the phone. Call when you say you will! How hard can that be? Am I asking for too much???

With that said, I know how ya'll LOVE (OK, maybe not "love" but get a great kick out of) hearing about ex's so here goes:

XBF4 - He texted me a couple weeks ago that his ex-neighbor’s wife died. She was 80+ years old. I met the neighbor and he’s a nice old guy. In a moment of weakness, I texted back to give the neighbor my condolences. Big mistake. Big. Huge. (Pretty Woman, LOL) XBF4 started texting me the feel-sorry-for-me messages (I’d heard it hundreds of times in R/L while dating him.)… How he should be the one who should be dead. Why are all his friends dying? Yadda Yadda Believe me, I’m not without sympathy that the elderly woman died. However, I no longer have compassion for his ploys for attention. So... what did I do? (Bad me!) I texted him back to not text me anymore and to seek therapy. After a few choice words from him, silence. Somehow though, I don’t think it’ll stay that way.

S – Texted me last Tuesday: “I’m going to be in town on Wed.” (Yeah, so? My friend said the same thing when I told her. LOL) I didn’t respond back. I was too busy doing my homework. After a a year+ of not being a couple, he only wants one thing... and he ain’t getting in the barn.

C – Texted me today: “Good morning!” Do ya know how you can tell if someone has typed a message, or if they’ve gone to their sent messages and just hit “resend”? The text says: "(Duplicate)". Well C just went to his old sent messages and resent it to me. Nice.... (not). For fear of having my BFF come slap the crap out of me if I responded (LOL, just kidding on that. Maybe not, you’d have to ask her for sure!)... I didn’t text him back.

A friend of mine has been getting tremendous pleasure out of seeing the “matches” that a personals site is sending me, compared to what they’re sending her. Mine – Unattractive, VERY overweight men who think they only have a “few extra pounds” *and* let's not forget the ones who say they're 45 and I'm not exaggerating when their photos look more like 65! (Maybe in their mind they're 45, reality NOT) Hers – Short, thin, guys who are either the rockstar or bad boy wannabes with sunglasses, tats and do-rags on their heads. Incognito? It’s times like this that I’m glad I have my profile turned off so that these guys can’t see me. My friend? She laughs her rear end off at me every chance she gets and I’m not so sure I’m finding humor in it. LOL, who am I kidding. Yes, I do!

14 comments:

cowgirlfromhanna said...

HAHAH Meari....you need a job writing this stuff! A TV show maybe?

Terri said...

Too Funny. I thinkyou can write a book on the do's and don'ts of datng.

J Rae said...

You crack me up and constantly remind me why I am so glad I am not in the dating scene. :-)

Barbara said...

Too funny, Meari. I love reading these "wonderful - NOT" dating stories. Thanks for the chuckles.
Barb in TX

Emily said...

Glad you have a sense of humor. Stay in there girl, if he's out there you will find him.

Donna said...

Ok, Meari all I can say is that I waited until I was 44 before I actually got married. And he is a keeper for life. Not at all what I "thought" he should be he is the best husband I could ever hope for. Keep looking!

Carol said...

Actually, Meari....you might want to double check me on this....but "duplicate" means that you already have a text with that message in one of the messages in your inbox. DH and DD text me "ok" or "have a good day" all the time and it says "duplicate" and I know DH didn't hit resend. (too complicated for him) It's possible that's the case here.

Terry said...

ROFLMAO! Thanks for the laugh and keep looking; he is out there.

Nancy said...

I almost think it might be better for you to start cruising the bars again............or maybe just start, I don't know if you ever did! LOL

Carolyn NC said...

Meari,
You're cracking me up! Keep the stories coming. :)

Meari said...

Hi Carol -- I don't think it's because I have one of those messages in my inbox because I deleted all HIS messages. Actually, I'm pretty good about deleting most messages right after I read them.

Rachel S said...

The scary thing is, you get enough of those matches and you start to wonder what is wrong with yourself . . .

Erynne said...

LOL! This really reminds me of my dating days after my divorce! I met some real nutters! And the misrepresentation of themselves...oh yeah, big time! One guy showed up at the restaurant for our date and I was certain he had a neck in his profile photo...where the heck did his neck go? Could this be the same guy I wondered? I swear it was just a really round head plopped right in the middle of his shoulders. Turned out it was a photo of his brother...aaaack!

valerie said...

Oh my...I can relate! I actually have blogposts similar to this one. All I can say is perseverence...he will come. And it may come with it's own set of frustrations. ;) Loved the comics...