Jun 24, 2008

Women vs. Men

• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

*** This just shows women are more mature then men! ;-)

• When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
• When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

*** Usually everyone just looks at me to figure it out.

• A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
• A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

*** But it was on sale!

• A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

*** I actually have --- items.

• A woman has the last word in any argument.
• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

*** Yes, indeed!

• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

*** Debateable... I've always been the one to worry and plan for the future.

• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
• A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

*** I just wanna know where the men are who have a JOB and make equal or more than me. Yeah, a job would be good!

• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
• A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

*** Change is good. It's called growth!

• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
• A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

*** We wanna look good for the men! FWIW, I only get dressed up to go shopping, so there.

• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
• Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

*** From one who suffers from the morning Medusa Syndrome, how does this happen?? It's just not fair.

• Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

*** Isn't this the truth!!


Kendra said...

Thanks for the laugh! Some of these are quite true.

And I also had to laugh at the "Morning Medusa Syndrome"...that's a very accurate way of describing the phenomenon of how terrible some of us gals look first thing in the morning. I, too, am plagued by this syndrome.

Katrien said...

thanks for the laugh, o yeah, I want to know where those men are too! :-)

CJ said...

How true, how true!! Thanks for the giggle.

Jennifer said...

Too funny!!! Although my MIL would disagree on the bathroom products. She was helping me unpack our master bath and was stunned by the amount of STUFF we have. And not all of it was mine, thank you very much. LOL

The short people thing is hilarious. My DH always holds the phone so I can hear too when our nieces and nephew get on the phone - he needs me to translate for him.

stitcherw said...

What a fun entry, thanks for the grin for the day.

Rene la Frog said...

ROFLMAO....Those are sooooooo true

Coral said...

"A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house"

so true!!

And very funny, thank you for the giggle

Deirdre said...

LOL! I needed a good laugh. I have the medusa syndrome too.

Jenna said...

ROFLOL. Those were too great! :)