Oct 31, 2007

Another Day Goes By

Tomorrow is the big day. My first surgery. I am having my tonsils removed. Hopefully, this will improve my health. I am a bit nervous, being my first time and all.

I would thank all of you that read my blog regularly. It's come to my attention once again that there are several of you that thoroughly enjoy my blog and are regular readers. :)

I also want to say that I appreciate all the comments and support via private emails I've gotten over the past several days in regards to my situation with S. Seeing as he won't talk to me face-to-face or even on the telephone, I wrote him an email with my thoughts about conflict in regards to how it's affected my life, how I perceived our relationship up to this point, and what I wanted out of a relationship. By the response I received, my guess is that he does not want to work things out. I poured my thoughts and feelings out in a long letter, his response was two sentences. Basically he said my blog entry was harsh (which IMO is simply an account of the events as they unfolded) and then he asked: Do you have multiple personalities?

I feel I did not do/write anything to warrant such a statement. I don't always express myself as well as I should sometimes (but aren't we all like that?), but I am honest as to who I am and how I feel. I am still in shock as to how someone I've shared the the last 10 months of my life with can be such a... I don't know. I could understand if it we'd been arguing/fighting for 6 months, but we haven't. I still feel sad, hurt, disrespected, frustrated, as well as a myriad of other emotions. With that said, S has been an important part of my life and shared in two huge milestones/dreams of mine. I appreciate the things he has done for me and with me. Regardless of whether we work things out or not, I will have the memeories and no one can take those from me. I feel I have done my best to open the lines of communication... I can't do more than that.

I actually slept better last night. I don't know if it was out of shear exhaustion, or if it was due to my getting some clarity of the situation at hand.


~Velda said...

Good luck with the surgery.

Your brave to stand up for what you believe in, bravo. As long as YOU think you did the right thing and you feel good with your decisions, that's all that matters.

selina said...

I wish you the best of luck with your surgery. Will think of you and wishing you a speedy recovery. Please let us know when you can.

I am sorry to hear about your relationship troubles. Men can be so childish sometimes, when it'd be so easy to just talk and work it out.

I do not think anything you wrote could possibly be responded by such a harsh response. Wishing you the best of luck.

Jenn L said...

::jaw drops:: That second sentence from him was ABSOLUTELY uncalled for, IMHO. And if your entry was harsh (which I don't believe it was), it's because HE hasn't been willing to listen to you and you needed to talk somewhere to someone.

You would think that especially as a single parent himself, he would understand what it's like to be stressed out with nowhere to turn.

Dawn said...

Meari, I don't think your blog entry was too harsh. If anything you handled it a lot better than I would have! Maybe S thinks it is too harsh because deep down he knows he is completely in the wrong.

Good luck with your surgury tomorrow. You will be in my thoughts! ((hugs))

Happy Halloween:)

Michelle-ozark crafter said...

I am sorry things have gotten as they have with S. Such a shame and I saw nothing you said which I would call harsh.
I will keep you in my prayers for your surgery dear. You will be just fine! Take it from someone who has had 6 or 7 surgeries in life already! LOL! But it is scary the first time. huggles and much love!

jymisgurl said...

Sending you hugs and good thoughts. Everything will work out for the best in the end!

Jenna said...

Multiple personalities? That's a new one. Sounds like S is not mature enough to be willing to work through this like an adult. It's better you found out now than when you were really in a long-term committed relationship. I'm sorry that it didn't work out, but you were bound to uncover his true self buried in there at some point. *hug* Don't hesitate to drop me a line if you feel like talking to someone about it.

CJ said...


I will be thinking about your tomorrow and looking forward to your next post after surgery. As for S, sometimes things work and sometimes they don't. Try not to fret over it too much, this will pass. I am sure the next great thing is around the corner--you need to find a guy that likes to stitch.


Kendra said...

Oh my...

For S to reply to an honest and thought-out message from you with those 2 sentences...WRITE HIM OFF. He's apparently a jerk.

I'm so sorry. :-(

Kathy said...

Good luck with your surgery.

It seems to me that S is not worth the effort you have put into the relationship. He has shown his true colors. At least you had him around to help with you move. I think it is time to move on, he does not deserve you.

Deirdre said...

Your in my thoughts and prayers. I hope your surgery is the blessing you need!

Sorry S. is being such a pill. I think children need discipline and agree with what you did. You don't sound harsh or like you have multiple personalities.

Sharon said...

Hi Meari, I am sorry to hear things have not been going good with S. But, it sounds like you have really put yourself out there to fix the situation and it is up to him. I don't think your blog entry was harsh at all. I thought it sounded pretty concise. The multiple personlity comment was way out of line, still I hope that it will work out for you two.

I hope too that your surgery will go well. I will be thinking of you. Take care!

Chiloe said...

Multiple personalities? where this one come from? It's so weird when people split up the weird things they can tell each others instead of speaking straight about the problems in the relationship ...

Hope you'll feel better soon!!!

Nancy in IL said...

Meari, I'm not sure who S is, but I do enjoy reading your blog (and others) when I have time. You express yourself very well and in an interesting way---very easy reading.

I don't know about you, but I have so many personalities, I don't which one is getting up each morning. Makes life more interesting.

Sorry, but I commented backwards (newer first), and I realized that my comment trying to ease you pre-surgery jitters is too late, so I just hope you're not in too much pain now that you surgery is over.

You're a treasure, Meari, and I cherish having gotten to know you.