May 27, 2009

Laws That Make Sense

Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last and they are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over while those in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and who stay to the bitter end of the performance and beyond. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.


Gabi said...

Not only makes this all's true too. LOL

shutterbug said...

So true. Been there , done that in several of these situations. :o) Thanks for the chuckles.
Hugs, Elaine

Maggie said...

LOL, enjoyed reading your post , and they are so true!

Donna said...

Section A of the Law of the Alibi:
If you call in sick and you are really not, you will go into intensive care 2 days later and be there for 10 days, and then will have a 4 week recovery period during which time you will not be able to go on the non-refundable airline trip to a stitching conference in Minneapolis. Trust me, it happened.

Carolyn NC said...

Love these - so true, so true!

Kristin said...

I love it. I may have to steal this and post it over at my place.

5footrunt said...

HEHEHE, thanks for explaining to me why those things happen.

Kendra said...

HA! These are great!

Mary said...

Thanks Meari! It made me both smile and chuckle. I could feel it make me feel better. I sent it to my bf so that he can share the smile and chuckle as well.

And you know what.... they are all


Rebecca (AKA - Rebel In Ontario) said...

THOSE ARE GOOD! I love the theatre someone who works in the performaning arts it is SO TRUE!

CindyMae said...

Those are all great! LOL

Anonymous said...

LOL!!!! All of it is too true!!

Pam K :o)